It wasn't until he died that I realised that the death of a loved one doesn't merely rob you of their physical presence but of part of yourself - the lifetime of experiences you shared with them - people, places, events, sights, sounds ... My dad was the last link I had with much of my past in India and Edinburgh and that link is now broken forever. There are memories I shared with him and no one else, and now not even him. Thankfully they are overwhelmingly happy ones.
The other thing I've realised is how much of him lives on in me, and my sister and our children - not just in our physical appearance but in what we believe, how we treat other people, what makes us laugh, the things that matter most to us. He was a good man and I hope I'll do him proud.